Have you ever felt invisible? Not the kind of invisible where you could play sneaky pranks on people but when you feel like no one truly sees you? Or worse, that they only see you as a means to an end?
I see you.
Being invisible is lonely. Our world is more connected then it has ever been in history yet reports of loneliness are at an all time high. The United Kingdom has actually appointed a minister of loneliness to combat the epidemic in their country.
Being invisible is painful. We could easily slip into believing we must not be worth seeing if no one is caring to look. Like a cruel game of hide and seek, we venture out to see why it’s taking so long for us to get noticed and find ourselves in a world full of people who all think they’re the hiders.
Being invisible is busy. It’s waiting in line at the store, checking out, saying thank you to the cashier and driving home, all without ever making eye contact. It’s getting stuck in the crevices of our mindscapes, planning and strategizing our futures or fantasizing and romanticizing the past, without giving thought to being fully present in the now. How can I make myself more noticeable? How can I make my feed attract more followers? How can I recreate that wonderful conversation? How can I feel alive again and not like a shell of myself, going through all the motions yet not feeling satisfied?
I see you.
And in being seen everything changes!
This morning I was feeling invisible. Lonely. Painful. Busy. Hiding, but wishing against hope someone would develop superman vision to see through my facade and pause long enough to treasure what they saw. For that to happen two things must exist: a person willing to let the cracks show and reveal the true mess, and a person willing to listen and love that messy person. I’m so thankful this morning the recipe was complete!
In order to break through my invisibility syndrome (I just made that up, please don’t Google it looking for official research papers), I had to stop believing no one cared, I had to start caring enough about myself to speak up, and I had to speak up! For me today that meant coaching my heart, “You are not ashamed to cry in a room full of people and you are worth being vulnerable for!” And I did cry.
You know what happened? So did everyone else!
Once I admitted what I perceived as my pitiful failures and struggles, I was seen and validated and comforted and loved! Because we all know what it feels like to be invisible and how wonderful it is to be seen.
I have spent my afternoon not reliving what happened but asking what I’m to do next. Because if I knew it before, now I know even more the power that accompanies being seen with nothing but the lens of love.
Not everyone is going to find the recipe complete every time they find themselves spinning. You may have an amazing support system but no person is perfect and many times we fail to connect important dots. Or maybe you have no one. First let me say, I see you. I may be some lady you’ve never met or maybe you’re my mom (hi mom!). Either way, I want to stand in the gap for you and tell you just how precious and valuable and loved you are! You are not a mistake. You are worth more than what you do. You are not quantified by how much money you make, how patient of a mother you are, how healthy you are, or how broken you are. No matter what, you are worth speaking up for. And if you don’t know how or can’t speak up for yourself, I will speak up for you if you’ll let me.
You are beautiful and I see you!
Let the hiders become the seekers.